I consider myself a "crunchy" mom. I cloth diaper, breastfed both my boys, made my own baby food, feed my kids organic food...ETC ETC. I try to positive parent but, I know I'm far from perfect, but I try. I believe the choices I make for my family are what's best for MY FAMILY. Not necessarily yours, but definitely mine. And, If there's one thing I hate it's "mom guilt". It's the look you get from other moms when you give your baby a bottle or put your toddler in time out. It's also the eye roll I get when I tell my mother that no, she may not give the 3 year old an artificially colored, saccharin sweetened Popsicle. It goes both ways! So here's my list of "mistakes" I won't apologize for, because in the end, they're my kids, and if they're happy and healthy then you shouldn't care how they got that way!
My "elective" C-section with my second son. My first son, I was in labor 30 hours, his heartbeat slowed drastically and there was an emergency C-section in the middle of the night. Worst experience of my life. I didn't even think twice when they asked what I wanted to do with my second delivery. There was no way I would take the chance of going through that again. I went in, they did the c section, there was music playing, I was relaxed, my partner was relaxed. We had camera ready and everything went smoothly. I would not change that experience for anything and it does NOT make me less of a woman or less of a mother. I definitely "did" birth ok?
I let my kids watch TV. Some days more selectively then others, but always "good" programing. My kids learn from the programs they watch and I haven't seen it hurt them in any way so I figure I'm ok with a few episodes of Octonauts or Sesame Street now and then.
I'm not married, I'm not getting married. I love my co-parent / boyfriend very deeply and I don't need a ring or a piece of paper to prove it. My kids will grow up with loving parents, grandparents, great grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles... and well you get the picture. I don't think my kids will feel left out or different, I don't feel like our arrangement is detrimental to them or the institute of marriage or society. It's just not for us. We are still a loving, stable and healthy family, which is more than some married couples I know!
My house is never clean. I am not an organized person, never will be. I grew up in the house of a hoarder and am still learning the ropes of "housekeeping". Plus my goal in life was always to be a successful career woman, so this whole domestication thing is a work in progress. When it comes right down to it, given the choice between taking my kids to the aquarium and cleaning the house, you had better believe I'm leaving the dishes in the sink.
My kids have lots and lots of stuff. I know I don't want them to be materialistic spoiled brats, but come on, some of those toys are so cool! We buy almost everything second hand, and most of it was gifted to us, but the fact is it's ours. As much as I'd like to live a minimalist lifestyle, my boys REALLY love their 6 power wheels and remote control dinosaur and why take away that joy?
My kids have never been to church. And they won't be any time soon. I was raised as a Christian, in a church, with parents who were devout and faithful. I dedicated my life to a religion and when I needed them the most, they turned their collective backs on me. Everyone, church leaders, friends, people who I looked up to. I don't ever want my kids to feel that judgement or rejection. EVER. I want my kids to learn about different religions. I want them to be tolerant of other's beliefs. Most important I want them to question everything. I don't want them to blindy follow any man or woman who claims divine authority because they speak the word of "God". I think faith and spirituality is important... but I want my kids to discover it on their own, not by having it spoon fed to them.
The point is, we all have our qualms. Next time you hand your tantrumming toddler that giant blue lollipop because it's the only way to quiet them I won't judge you, just make sure you return the favor :)
